Modern Social Media Etiquette

by Cameron Higby-Naquin

Ahh, “modern social media etiquette,” that writhing morass of worms, that tempest on the palm of a fortune-teller’s cat, that shower of charged particles released when a cosmic ray strikes the atmosphere, that colloquium of firefighters standing around a week-old cigar butt, that molten crater filled to the brim with lava in the backyard of a hermit, that dream within a dream, that kelp forest of stingrays and barracuda through which we must all swim before entering paradise, that orchestra whose symphonies are composed of ten thousand notes from ten thousand composers’ wastebaskets, that first party after Babel shattered humanity’s tongue and everyone was drunk on horrible red wine, that book in the shape of a twenty-sided die whose facets each contain more text than the complete works of St. Augustine, that land where everything is perfect and also nothing is perfect.